Thinking

Well, here I go again, writing my Life. Thinking out loud....again. Hoping that through this writing I will figure myself out and where to go from here. For, I am at a crossroads. Challenge: to find what I Love. I like a lot of things. But, what am I passionate about? I like doing scrapbooking. I like making cards to give friends and family. I like making mini albums and trying other crafty things I see and read online. I like reading. I like to draw. I like helping others. I like making people laugh. I think I would like to travel and see the country where I live. I love my children and grandchildren very very much. In fact, I have given my all to my kids. Sometimes I gave too much of myself, I think. But, it was the only way I could do it. I have wanted to have kids since I was very young. I used to love pets of all kinds. I would babysit with children every chance I got. Not for the money, for heaven's sake because it did not pay much to babysit. 50 cents per hour in fact....sheesh. I like to cook, when I don't have to do it. I really got burned out when I was cooking for the family. I have to admit I did get creative, if throwing a bunch of food into the same pan and making it taste good counts. (it does) My problem with cooking is that when I cook it, I want to eat it. I love to eat. (food critic?) I like the way the food feels. I live the way it tastes. I like the way it smells. I love doing research on my Family History. Reading and learning about what was going on back then is amazing. I like to read about how other families survived, sometimes it was touch and go. Some people died very young. Many fathers died young. In my own family, a great great grandfather died just before his 4th son was born or shortly afterwards. That is a scarey thought because had he died 9 or 10 months sooner, my grandfather would not have been conceived or born. That is shocking. I learned about how rough the journey was from the east. The hardships they went through. Jumping in with both feet and moving family and critters into a land they did not know, fighting to survive. At this time, I am passionate about learning even more about my family "back in the day". What else do I like. I like garage sales, but that is growing old now that we have done it so often the past few years. We went today and the weather was great, cool and no bugs. I like the outdoors sans bugs and stinging insects. I like to plant flowers and don't even mind the weeding...sometimes. I love the feeling it gives me when the garden looks nice. It is a wonderful sanctuary. I love watching hummingbirds feed at our many feeders. I like going on walks. I like riding bikes beside the lake. I want to be able to ride clear around the lake by the end of the summer. It will happen. We are getting further each time we ride. I like chatting with people online, but am weaning myself away from being addicted to it. I don't even miss it anymore. We were gone almost a week, and I only got online once to check on facebook. I love smooching and snuggling my grandbabies, that is when my joy is the highest. I keep having this feeling of wanting to escape, to go somewhere on a journey. Not just in my writing but in real life too. Thing is, I am so scared of doing it. There is the money aspect, but I think the money will come when the time is right. It is interesting to write out my thoughts. I like painting in my art journal. I am intimidated and get stuck often, thus I have many pages unfinished. I continue to learn new techniques all the time, and I truly do love that. Anyway, it is time for me to think about going to bed, I am so tired from the past week. Loved it, but it wears me out. We have been across the State both ways within the past month. I loved it, but I want more. I want to go on a vacation. I would like to go west, young man. Now I have written down my ideas. Now I will come back here and see what my typing has revealed. Then on from there. Goodnight Moon~! Kate